Sometimes I listen to the lie that my only usefulness is to clean up messes. Then I feel defeated when I look at all that I haven’t gotten around to yet or guilty when I sit down to relax when the kids are asleep. I have to accept that messes are a way of life with young children and the cleaning will never be done. But sometimes the clutter makes me smile especially when it so clearly says, “Desmond was here!” He was entertaining Kaylynn with all five of his beloved snugglies.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I’m running into Kaylynn’s determined spirit a lot lately. I love her so much, but this girl and I are going to have a standoff on more than one issue. She’s strongly opinionated on how and where she does things and it makes a mommy’s day challenging. She’s only five and a half months old! What will this determined spirit look like in three or ten years? We need to set up early who’s in charge here.
Sleep: She nearly refuses to fall asleep unless she’s home and then only if she’s in her crib swaddled and sucking on her binky. The problem is she’s also getting good at wiggling out of the swaddle, flipping herself over, pulling out the binky and therefore crying because things are not right many times during the night. I think I’m going to wean her off both the swaddle and the binky so she can learn to get herself to sleep wiggles and all. The next week or so could be really rough. We’ll see how long I last. Davin doesn’t want to attempt this at night, just during the day. Today she took a grand total of three twenty-minute naps. One of them she fell asleep on her own and it was such an exhilarating feeling. If she’s tired enough she will sleep!
Eating: Kaylynn is so strange about where she eats. Today we were out at a doctor’s appointment, the grocery store, and then lunch with Davin. Kaylynn wouldn’t eat the whole time we were out and she was getting cranky. Watching a baby at the next lunch table drinking her bottle didn’t influence Kaylynn either. When we got home she guzzled down six ounces. I knew she was hungry! Silly girl.
Monday, October 17, 2011
I have recently developed a friendship with a local mom through MOMS group. She has a cute nine month old son and was due in January with her daughter. On Friday I could not get my friend out of my mind and I prayed for her often. Ultrasounds showed that the baby would have little chance of survival, and on Friday she was born at almost 27 weeks. After one breath she left this world to meet her heavenly Father. Now I know why my friend was heavy on my heart that day.
This has hit me really hard especially since I know the pain of losing a child. At eight weeks I never got to hold mine or kiss his face, but I can still relate to a mother’s grief. I have cried a lot the past few days.
I had a thought to make a dress for the baby, and my friend said it was okay. Newborn clothes are too big so I made a doll dress out of some beautiful soft fabric I bought in Salzburg shortly after getting engaged. I used some of it for my wedding. I think it is perfect. Every girl deserves a pretty dress even if it’s the first and last one she’ll ever wear. I just pray that it fits alright.
In a way this has been healing for me. I couldn’t give anything to my baby, but it has felt good to carefully craft something for another. We were never meant to burry our children, but still God is gracious. I thank God for the two perfect, healthy children I have, and I ‘m glad my friend has her son to love on and help her heart heal.
Dance with your Father, Eden Grace, and say hello to Emery for me. Your moms await the day when we can know you and hold you again.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Desmond is turning into more of a big boy every day. When I get out the camera now he loves to make silly faces, and then we laugh as we look back through them. I love his silliness and indulge in taking silly pictures because that’s just him.
Sometimes he wants Kaylynn to play in his room with him and then he asks me to leave. I don’t quite know what to do with myself when I’m not asked to join in the playing, but it makes me smile to see him be a good big brother.
We’re dealing with a fussy stage right now. He likes to be in charge and have things go his way – don’t we all? So while he’s still a sweet boy it’s a constant challenge to continue shaping him into a respectful and obedient child.
And potty training? Yeah, I don’t know. I haven’t hit it hard again though I’m trying to encourage him in little ways. I don’t want to deal with the resistance and accidents right now. I think I ‘d like to send him off to potty training boot camp for a day or two and have someone else do it!
I’m enjoying teaching Desmond by responding to his naturally inquisitive mind. I feel like pretty much everyone sends their three year old to preschool, but we can’t afford that and I really think I want to take on his education in the beginning. This week he’s been interested in Saturn after watching a Disney’s Little Einsteins episode. So we made Saturn out of a bouncy ball and a glow stick bracelet. Today we went to the downtown Vancouver library (awesome kid section by the way) and checked out some books about our solar system. It’s fun looking through the books and answering his questions. He’s drinking it all in and knows half the planets just after today. I explained orbits to him by us taking turns being the sun and the earth. I let him play with Google Earth on my iPod. He knows now that we live on Earth but he suggested that the neighbors live on Jupiter. Well, at least he’s being exposed to the information.
Kaylynn is five months old! She is starting to scoot herself across the floor just a little, and she is being introduced to the world of solid foods.
She shows a strong preference for drinking her bottle in her room so I have started making her eat downstairs during the day. When we’re away from home she will hardly eat anything at all. She’s doing great with solid foods and has had rice cereal, mum mums, green beans, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, and bananas so far. It’s fun having her at the dinner table with us.
As far as sleep goes, Kaylynn has her own preferences on that as well. If we’re away from home she usually won’t sleep more than a few minutes and only in the Ergo. Her naps vary from 30 minutes to two hours, but one hour is usually the norm. She’s very attached to her binky and often fusses at night to have it put back in her mouth when she can’t reach it. I’m thinking about weaning her off it. Desmond slept through the night around 6-8 weeks so this not sleeping well for five months thing is new to me. She still likes to eat once or twice during the night, but I’m trying to make some slight adjustments to her bedtime routine to help signal her to sleep longer. She slept through last night (until 5 am) so maybe soon…
Kaylynn is jabbering more and more. I’m hearing more consonants the past week or so. I often ask Desmond what he thinks she’s saying or say she’s telling him secrets. When he wants her to talk he says, “Can she make more languages?” Cute.
Not long ago I couldn’t imagine having another baby. Now Kaylynn feels so much a part of our life, it’s like she’s always been here. I love my little sweet pea!
Saturday, October 08, 2011
The weather was perfect and I was pleasantly surprised at how good this local farm was. Apparently everyone else in Vancouver knew how great it was because the farm was busy. They were organized and had lots of fun activities included in the admission price making it a perfect family outing. We enjoyed pumpkin launching, a hay pyramid, the long corn maze, a rubber duck race, and Desmond’s favorite – a hay ride to the field to find our pumpkins. Maybe next year we’ll also have time for the hay maze, corn shucking, petting zoo, and pony ride.
My favorite highlight was when Desmond found a frog. He squatted down to study something in the grass, and when I asked him what he was looking at he said, “There’s a hopping thing.” I came over expecting to see a grasshopper, but it was a cute little frog! I don’t think Desmond has seen a real one before. He wouldn’t touch it, but Kaylynn didn’t have a choice when I put it on her head.