Feeding Kaylynn has been my life this week. I figured out I spent at least 12 hours solely focused on feeding and pumping the other day. We’ve been trying to get her to breastfeed again like she did at first. She’ll only feed at the breast if there’s a tube pumping it in. Otherwise she fights me and gets very angry. She wants to latch on and opens wide, but then once on she’ll pull away. If she does manage to calm down, she’ll do small sucks and fall asleep. I’ve been to two one-on-one lactation consultations and a lactation support group and so far none of the experts can figure out why she’s not nursing. I have the supply as evidenced by my 24 oz of pumped milk per day. Kaylynn just won’t work to get it out, but she used to and that’s why my milk came in so fast.
At today’s one-on-one the consultant wondered if she’s getting conditioned to scream on my breast so I want to do my best to get her comfortable and calm there. We’ll keep trying. I only had three hours of sleep last night so today has been a bit difficult in staying calm with her fighting me. We both end up crying. Davin also returned to work yesterday so I’ve got to do this on my own which is very difficult with the tube feeding. I have another lactation appointment on Tuesday with the expert in the office to see if we can figure this out.
Kaylynn had her first bottle yesterday and though I feel like it’s a cop out it also felt so good to just simply feed and enjoy her as her deep blue eyes stared at me over the bottle.
