Thursday, September 02, 2010

So Many Wonderful Blessings

Desmond will occasionally request that I sing my Destiny solo "For Every Mountain."  He calls it "Mommy's Song," and it really is a fitting song for this year of my life.  In April God gave us our second child and six weeks later He took him or her away.  Shortly after that I was brushing up on this song for my Multnomah college reunion and the words spoke so deeply to me. 

"I've got so much to thank God for.  So many wonderful blessings and so many open doors.  A brand new mercy along with each new day... You've been my provider, so many times You've met my needs.  So many times You have rescued me. I want to thank You for the blessings You give to me each new day.  That's why I praise You, and for this I give You the praise." 

God provided friends to surround me during the darkest grief of my miscarriage.  Then he gave me peace and hope for the future of our family, and I could truly praise Him for His blessings in the midst of loss. 

As I performed this song at the reunion I didn’t know it but I was pregnant!  I am now five and a half weeks along.  Some recommend waiting until the second trimester when the miscarriage danger is over, but I can’t help but tell people.  It so much more meaningful to share the news this time especially with those who have been praying us through this year. 

I feel different this time.  I'm dreaming of life as a family of four with a new little sibling for Desmond.  I feel peaceful and excited about this baby unlike the last time when I wondered if something was wrong.  Of course if I think about it too much I wonder if my feelings are off, so I just have to rest and trust in God knowing He has it all under control and has our good in mind.