Sunday, December 12, 2010

Reflections on 2010

Yesterday I finished my family scrapbook for 2010.  It was good looking back on the year though not everything was a happy reflection.  This year has had it’s share of pain, misunderstandings, loneliness and loss.  I really struggled through the first half of the year culminating in the death of our second child who I named Emery.  He or she was due two weeks from now, and nothing can explain a mother’s anguish during this time. Through this year’s pain I turn confused, heart broken to the only One who is unshakeable.  God is opening my eyes to new possibilities and treasures to be found although the rebuilding is a slow process.

We had our first two hospital experiences this year with Desmond getting five stitches in his chin and my heart unexplainably going into atrial fibrillation for a couple days.  We are really not the ones in control, are we?

This year also holds treasures I never want to forget.  Watching Desmond grow is such a joy.  He has left his baby ways and entered into the ups and downs of toddlerhood.  He makes me laugh (and cry sometimes), and I just want to love him better as our simple days go by.  We’ve enjoyed family outings to Dozer Days, strawberry picking, camping, and the beach as well as our sixth anniversary trip to Seattle.  It’s easy for me to dwell on the sad things I wish were different but cannot change.  I am challenged to renew my mind with the happy things that really do outweigh the sad ones.

God has richly blessed us.  Davin got a new job here in Vancouver, we bought a new house and found good renters for our condo.  In this struggling economy God has provided for all our needs.  The richest gift is the life of our new baby girl who I feel moving in my womb daily now.  We can’t wait to meet her in the spring!